You Can Choose How You Feel

You can choose how you feel. Most people don’t realize this, but it is true. Most people stay stuck in an old emotion because no one has ever taught them how to move forward and choose how they feel.

I heard Hal Elrod speak about this concept at the Game Changers Summit a few weeks ago. He learned to move forward through his feelings when he was a young Cutco Cutlery salesperson. In his training he learned that he could be mad or sad about something for five minutes and then he needed to move forward. So instead of fuming for hours when a customer canceled a big order he was counting on, he set his phone timer for five minutes. He ranted and raved for those five minutes. At first, he would need to set his timer for another five minutes because he was not done feeling bad. He soon realized that he was done ranting and raving way before his timer went off. At the end of his five minutes, Hal learned to say three simple words – “Can’t change it.”

 Learning how to move forward turned out to be super important for Hal. A drunk driver wrecked into Hal’s car one night, leaving Hal paralyzed. After he woke up from a coma, Hal applied what he knew to do. He knew he could not change what had happened. Hal determined that if he were to be in a wheelchair, he would be the happiest person in a wheelchair. Hal decided to choose how to feel. Wonderfully, with a good attitude and lots of hard work, Hal regained his use of his legs. He now runs long distances with ease.

How does this work? Our resistance to reality is what causes us pain. When we acknowledge that we “can’t change it,” we move toward accepting reality. Accepting reality is less painful than resisting reality. Hal is now a motivational speaker and he gave a beautiful example of this. A woman who heard Hal speak had been grieving the loss of her father for ten long years. After she heard Hal’s story, she realized that she did not need to spend another day allowing her father’s memory to cause her pain. Now she can look back on the love her father gave her during his life and feel joy, not sorrow. She decided to choose how to feel about the memory of her father.

This isn’t always easy. This is a habit that becomes stronger with time. Hal did not start this habit when he ended up in the hospital. He started it with canceled cutlery orders. By building this habit into his life on a daily basis, he was able to use it when the really big challenges in life hit.

Hal’s got some really great ideas and resources. You can learn about his Miracle Morning routine here.

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