Bill and Tedra’s Excellent Mediation Adventure

Mediation will not have you flying through time in a telephone booth , but it might be just what you need to move into the future.

If you are trying to decide how to handle a family law problem, you are probably wondering what mediation looks like. Let me take you on Bill and Tedra’s Excellent Mediation Adventure.

This is what the mediation process would look like for our hypothetical couple, Bill and Tedra. Bill calls our office on an ordinary Tuesday afternoon. He tells Liza that he and Tedra are wanting to get a divorce. They have three kids, a house, cars, retirement accounts, and some debts. He hasn’t spoken to Tedra since he found out that she was having an affair with a coworker. Bill is very upset and wants this divorce finished as soon as possible.

Liza explains to Bill that mediation is an option for Tedra and him. She describes the process and offers to call Tedra to explain the process to her as well. They find some dates that Bill is available for the first session. Liza asks Bill if he wants to meet with Julie individually for the first session or with Tedra. Liza gets Bill’s email address so she can send him an intake sheet and a list of what to bring to mediation.

Then Liza calls Tedra. Although she was expecting a divorce, she is surprised to hear a kind voice on the phone. Liza explains the process to Tedra and Tedra decides it is a good idea. After going over dates that everyone is available, they set an appointment for a one hour session ten days later.

Bill and Tedra arrive for their mediation session at about the same time. It is a little awkward.Liza does her best to put them at ease and soon Julie arrives and whisks them into the conference room where they will all meet.

As they sit around the large table, Julie explains to them how mediation works. Bill and Tedra both agree that this is how they want to handle their divorce and that they are wanting to move forward with a divorce, instead of trying to reconcile.

Both are concerned about how this will impact their children and how long this process will take. Tedra’s friend got divorced recently and that process took sixteen months and cost her friend $8,000. Julie explains that mediation is a good way to minimize the impact of a divorce on children. Conflict between parents is not good for kids. Mediation manages the conflict and gives parents the hope that they can resolve future issues together for their children. Mediation is also a faster way to do a divorce. When parties are able to work out agreements, the papers can be drawn up and entered by a judge within a month or two (sometimes even less).

With that, Julie guides them through all the decisions they will need to make to develop a parenting plan for their children and to separate their assets and debts. They do a total of three sessions. There are some tears (and even an angry outburst) but Bill and Tedra make all the decisions that they need to make to get divorced. Some of it is easy and they agree on what should be done right away. Some choices take more time, more research and more guidance from Julie.

At the end Bill and Tedra both feel relieved. Bill is still a little angry at Tedra but he feels some resolution to the situation. He is hopeful that he and Tedra can make the shift from former romantic partners to business partners engaged in the very important business of raising their three kids.

Three weeks later Julie gives them the documents to review. They review them, make some needed changes and then approve the final documents. Liza e-files the documents with the court. Two days later the judge signs off on the papers and Bill and Tedra are officially divorced.

With a few finally legal documents to transfer the house and interests in a retirement account, Bill and Tedra have finished the entire divorce process. The total cost for both of them, including the court’s filing fees, was $3,499. Instead of having to borrow money to finish their divorce, Tedra is able to put away some money for a down payment on a house and Bill is able to take a short vacation to Florida with the kids.

Hopefully, Bill and Tedra’s Excellent Mediation Adventure showed you what mediation looks like for a divorcing couple who comes to our office. Check back next week to see what litigation might look like for the same couple. For an actual client’s experience with mediaiton, click here or here.

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