5 Tips for a More Peaceful Divorce

By Lindsey Arnold

Everybody is unique and therefore every divorce is unique. The way you decide to handle your divorce can make a world of difference.

Below is a list of tips for creating a more peaceful divorce.

At QLM, we know that divorce is a difficult time. Your divorce can be draining, emotionally and financially. We do our best to comfort and reassure our clients. Sometimes our client consultations feel more like a therapy session than a legal consultation. While we are happy that our clients feel comfortable sharing and being vulnerable in our office, we are not trained health and wellness counselors or therapists.

We do welcome such transparency. It helps us create a more meaningful professional relationship with our clients and gives us valuable insight into the case. Long-term, other avenues would better assist with such emotions and challenges. By addressing your emotional issues first, you will better be able to navigate through your divorce and be more productive in helping us assist you.

Depending on your situation, this could be difficult. If domestic abuse is an issue, your safety and your children’s safety is number one priority. If such abuse is not your situation, communication can go a long way in creating a more peaceful divorce. Don’t blindside your spouse. Speak to them about wanting a divorce and that you are proceeding with an attorney. Giving them the respect of notice can prevent several arguments.

This one might require a shift in your way of thinking. We as parents can become very territorial when it comes to our children. The idea of having to share your child and split time with another person can be scary. Try to remember that you did not create/adopt this child alone. Your child has a right to have a relationship with both parents.

Many parents see this part of divorce as a win-lose situation. That is not the case. Being supportive of the child and other parent’s relationship will create a more peaceful situation for everyone, especially your child. Even when the other parent is being stubborn or not compromising, do the right thing. Always put your child’s best interest first. Think of your child first, not your emotions.

Putting your child’s best interest first doesn’t always mean compromising, sometimes it’s safer to be more guarded or restrict parenting time with the other parent. When you meet with us, we will help evaluate your situation and approach your case in a way that addresses such issues if applicable.

In Illinois, mediation is used and often required for family law and divorce cases involving children. Click here to learn more about mediation. Many times, we see clients and opposing parties enter mediation with their mind already made up. Entering mediation with an open mind can save you time and money. Reaching even a partial agreement saves the attorneys’ time and effort in and out of court. Plus, working together now with your spouse will make it easier and set the foundation for you to come to agreements later on, after the divorce.

When making any decision in your divorce, ask yourself “Why do I want this?” Is it because it’s been in your family for ages, or is it because you did all the shopping during the marriage and picked it out at the store? Prioritizing what is important, whether it is property or a holiday parenting schedule will help you discover peace. Maybe Christmas Day is always celebrated on the 26 ^th with your side of the family, so it would make sense for the other parent to have Christmas Day every year. Thinking about the big picture can give you a peaceful divorce.

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