Mediation is Magic

Seasoned mediators know that mediation is magic. Mediators talk about mediation being magic, in those exact words, whenever we get together at a conference or an online training. Keep in mind, most mediators are lawyers. Some are therapists. They have completed many years of formal education in rigorous fields known for logic and analytical processes. What possesses them to talk about their work as magic? What is mediation magic?

What is Mediation Magic?

To me, mediation magic is knowing that an amazing result was achieved for a couple or a family that could not have been achieved through the traditional legal process. Sometimes this is a breakthrough in communication between two people that allows them to heal old wounds and move forward. Sometimes it is an innovative agreement that will serve the family and its members well. Sometimes, just the fact that a case is settled, after so much pain and strife, is a miracle unto itself.

Why do Mediators Talk So Much about Mediation Magic?

To witness and be part of a resolution of conflict is a special feeling. Sometimes I actually get goosebumps. There is an internal "Wow!" that comes many times when a session goes well. This testifies to the truth of the old saying, "Blessed are the peacemakers." I feel the mediation magic both in in-person sessions and in sessions by Zoom. Fortunately, it does not seem to matter where the session is conducted. I even feel mediation magic when one of my litigation cases is settled by a different mediator! In those situations, I know that the mediator has helped my client achieve something that I either could not have done with litigation or that would have taken me a lot longer to achieve with litigation.

Do the Participants Feel Mediation Magic?

Sometimes my mediation clients do feel the mediation magic. They realize that something transformative has taken place. Maybe they feel a burden lifted off their shoulders or sense a new freedom in communication with their co-parent. Sometimes my mediation clients don't feel the magic, even if I do. The family matters that we handle in mediation are important and resolving them can be stressful for participants. Sometimes participants are so flooded with old memories that the magic passes them by. Regardless of whether the magic was felt, the agreement in mediation benefits the participants and the family.

So now you know why so many otherwise practical professions are so excited about mediation magic.